Got it figured

Due to my somewhat perilous tightrope-walking on the wire just above the fiery planes of destitution of late, I've been thinking a lot about the stages of life and their respective pros and cons. Like, despite everybody going all misty-eyed and sentimental about childhood, the further away from it I get the happier I am. Childhood is tough, and long, and is also (unless you go senile eventually) the stage of least independence of your life, hence it being not my cup of tea. Then comes early adulthood, from whence I'm blogging, which is waaay better than childhood because, well, you can start doing what you damn well please, at last! What they skim over in the promotion pamphlets, though, is that this is the age of damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't predicaments; where you have to make serious, life-changing decisions with just less than not a clue, because for the first time there doesn't seem to be ANY hint as to which path you'd do better to take. Like, nada. Zero. Zilch. It's all up to you, kiddo. And that is, well, a teensy bit terrifying. On the plus side, though, you still have a metabolism, and a pretty face (well, you know, it's not actively horrific yet), and the world is terribly exciting in the strangest ways. For instance, you suddenly discover that shopping for a washing basket can be awesome, because those boring shops that your parents dragged you to when you were a kid take on a whole new meaning when you're decorating your own hovel/room under the stairs/flat. And so you find yourself coming home with new matching towels and a soap dish AND a really cool toaster that fits 4 SLICES OF BREAD!!!

Then shit goes downhill for a while, as people start hitting their mid-life crises and buying stupidly expensive cars and having affairs and all that nonsense, and THEN we get to the really good bit: middle age. I know it's a little weird, but I honestly envy those who are 45+. They seem like they have it all figured out; they'll tell you otherwise, of course, and maybe those with kids (grown or otherwise) are exempt from this generalisation, but the others, the older couples who managed not to bankrupt themselves or screw up their relationship, really seem to have their shit figured out. They're old enough that they most probably have a stable job with a high-ish salary and a pension; they're respected in the workplace because they are "elders" without being "old fogeys"; they have their own house, and car, both of which are paid off; they have well-established rituals that they've formulated over many years that make their lives easier and nicer; they're over their looks and have embraced their "mature" skin and figures... All in all, it seems like a pretty damn comfy state of affairs.

Sadly, I must admit to myself that this is almost definitely mostly wishful thinking on my part; it's how I want my middle age to be, and so I'm projecting it onto others. I want to be one of those older ladies who still know how to have fun and be wild, on occasion, and yet are serene and wise and comfortable in their own skin. Like a youngish adult with more money and fewer hangups. So my goal is going to be to become that self in 20+ years time. I really hope I manage.